Your tragedy is not the horizon…

• 
  I’m all for the theory that it’s our past that defines us, our experiences are what mold us to who we are today and without a doubt there is truth in that. I wouldn’t be able to connect and help so many people with obesity had I not been obese myself. My years of living and struggling with eating disorders and the mental struggle of being well over 100+ lbs overweight makes me have true empathy for those that also struggle and in turn be able to lead them down the road to success in that area of their life.

  However, (and a big “however”) we cannot afford to allow our past to hold us back from our potential of today and our ever so promising future. We have an incredible ability to hold ourselves back without even realizing it. Experiences or tragedies from our past, even from childhood haunt our subconscious in a way that makes it easy for us to feel trapped, or unable to move forward. I have had clients who suffered incredible tragedies and have seen first hand the powerful effect it can have on our minds and behaviors. With that said, I’ve also seen the powerful change that can happen when we separate those events from ourselves in a way that frees us from that bondage.

  In so many of these cases people have been living with these emotions for so long it feels like a permanent ball and chain around their ankle making every move and decision 100x more effort than it should be. An average week is filled with good days and bad days. Days where clear self sabotaging is taking place yet the same “cause” for this behavior is in many cases the crutch we use to “excuse” this behavior. It’s yet another method to make ourselves feel better. I’ve seen it too many times to count and from every corner of the globe. This is a real thing and undoubtedly some of you reading this are stuck in this today. You suffered a bad relationship, were abused, hurt, used and now your coping mechanism for this pain is self sabotage in one way or another. Food, alcohol, porn, drugs, [fill in your own blank] is used to cope with these heavy emotions. When you have a bad day, you feel the guilt and shame of self sabotage but also just chalk it up to “I had an emotional/bad day”. You drop it, you sweep it under the rug, not once owning up to the fact that you are allowing the hurt of your past and the person(s) who did that to you to effect you even further.

  I had a long time client who had been raped multiple times in college. This horrific event was the start of her weight gain. At the time she said she had no where to turn so she would keep to herself. She once had a very outgoing lifestyle and now found herself staying in every night, ordering takeout and secluding herself. For years she did this and gained well over 100+lbs with this behavior. When she came to me we had many bad habits to break(I was unaware of her tragedy when we started) but it quickly became apparent that something emotional was weighing heavy on her causing her to have “bad days” every week. She finally confided in me with this “secret”. In times like this I almost always recommend therapy from a professional and did in this case as well, but I also added my two cents. I asked her if she realized that she was giving her attackers (yes there were more than one) even more power over her with her behavior now years later? That every time she binged she was giving them a little more power over her. After a long stint of silence on the phone where I was sure I was going to be fired as her coach, she lit up (in a good way). “You’re right!” she said. “I don’t have control over what they did to me in college but I do have control over what they do to me now!”

  Like a light-switch being turned on, her mindset was changed. She was immediately in control of her actions and realized that her current behaviors were something she did in fact have control over.

  The second we truly realize that going forward we have control over our actions is the moment we will finally break free from the bondage of our past. Will therapy be needed to release the pain? Likely, yes, but in more than just the case above I have seen peoples behavior change instantly when they realize their actions and how they treat themselves are now their own and NOT caused by the pain they’ve experienced in the past.

  We must focus on the horizon. The beautiful future in front of us that is paved by our own decisions and actions rather than constantly looking back at the things we no longer have control over.

  Have you overcome a great tragedy or emotional obstacle for the better? If so, I encourage you to share your experience below, help others realize that change IS possible.

  Your partner in health,
  -Jeremy Reid

  For more great content follow me around the web:
  Youtube.com/JeremyReidFitness
  Snapchat: JeremyLReid (mobile add link: click here)
  Instagram: JeremyReidFitness
  Twitter: @JReidFit
  Facebook.com/JeremyReidFitness
  http://jeremyreidfitness.com/

  
  
  March 11th, 2016 | Jeremy Reid | No Comments |

JRF Newsletter Signup - Recipes, Workouts and more!

Email Address*

First Name

Last Name

* = required field