A Phrase That Changed a Life
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In the summer of 1993 my family relocated to Redmond, OR. I had just left my long-time childhood friends back in Jackson Wisconsin. I started junior high overweight, it first came to my attention in the 7th grade when I was shamed for it the first time in my junior high cafeteria. It’s weird that I can remember THAT instance like it was yesterday but there’s pieces of last month I can’t even recall. I can remember how I felt as a group of junior-high boys threw Cheetos at my head and said “Here’s some food fat-ass!”
It’s a lonely place feeling like an outsider and is the moment that I started shaming myself as well, because let’s face it, if I wasn’t good enough for my class mates, I wasn’t good enough for anyone. (Delusional thoughts of a 13yo)
That instance of getting shamed started a spiral of insecurity, negative self talk, depression and the willingness to do ANYTHING to gain the acceptance of my peers. I continued to dig my hole deeper with my thoughts and actions. I am well aware many kids go through MUCH worse but when we allow an instance to define us, we continue to breed negativity, rejection and depression and before long the beast we are dealing with is so much larger than the initial cause.
This self-destructive behavior with food continued into my 20’s when I topped out at over 300lbs. I was running, coping, detracting myself with food and whatever else I could get my hands on. Looking back it all started with that single event in the cafeteria but I used it as a crutch for a lot of things in my life for many years.
I don’t blame anyone for my journey, however, a single negative act was enough to create a spiral. For the boys who made fun of me, their enjoyment lasted all of 30 seconds but for me the repercussions lasted a decade.
We all tend to get wrapped-up in the moment and it’s easy to talk negatively to someone else For us it might be 30 seconds of gossip that adds some variety to our life, but for the on you’re talking crap about, you could have just started a decade long spiral without even knowing it. Choose love, positivity, empathy, compassion. And if any of those things are not in your reach, then at a minimum choose silence over negativity. You just might save a life by keeping your mouth shut today.
If you’ve been shamed, I feel you. This was the first time for me, not the last. I know your pain, I know your struggle and I am passionate about helping you. Much love.
-Jeremy
About The Author
Jeremy Reid
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